I saw a meme recently that made me laugh because it was so true. And if I ever find it again, I will post it. It basically said, “All my goals depend on me being a completely different person than the one I am right now.”
Seriously, I need help!
My current goals are:
- Do a triathlon with my brother (and don’t die in the attempt).
- Lose 30 lbs.
- Maintain my two websites: juliechartreau.com and theunwritten.net
- Increase my income from my side hustle writing gigs
And, of course, these need to happen while working my full-time job and taking care of my family and home.
So, how do I get from being an overweight 54-year-old woman who tends to procrastinate to a healthy triathlete/writer?
The answer: NEUROPLASTICITY!
The word itself is pretty cool; what it means is even cooler. If the term had been widely used when I was a child, I imagine it would’ve had its own Schoolhouse Rock segment.
Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to adapt and change to create new neural pathways.
Imagine creating a new trail in the woods. The more you walk it, the clearer the path becomes until it becomes a well-established trail. But, if you quit using the path, it quickly becomes overgrown.
I first discovered the concept of neuroplasticity when I read the book “Switch on Your Brain” by Dr. Carolyn Leaf.
I guess up until that point, I was still under the belief that I would be forever cursed by all the brain cells I killed off from copious amounts of alcohol consumed over the last several decades and that we only use 10% of our brain, which is not true.
We have the ability to change our brains! We don’t have to be stuck in the mindset that “you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.”
But it doesn’t mean that it’s easy (at first). You need to recognize your current bad habits, and that takes mindfulness.
So, what is mindfulness?
It’s examining your thoughts in a detached, non-judgmental way. You begin to realize that not all of them are beneficial to your life, and you don’t always need to act upon them. It allows you to re-direct your thoughts, thus creating new neural pathways.
As I said, it’s not easy at first. Your brain’s primary goal is to make life easier and avoid what is unpleasant. It likes the established pathway and may be averse to making changes.
Now the question becomes, “How can I be aware of my thoughts if I’m not even aware that I’m thinking thoughts?” (You may need to read through that a few times).
Do you know what goes with mindfulness?
Meditation
I don’t mean the type of meditation that requires you to sit cross-legged for hours saying “Om.” This only takes a few moments of your time each day.
When you’re first starting, try the following technique;
- Find a place where you can comfortably sit or lay quietly without being disturbed. For me, it’s best in the morning, before anyone wakes up.
- Set the timer on your phone (about 5 minutes when you’re just starting).
- Close your eyes, start taking deep breaths, and clear your mind. How do you do this? I breathe into the count of three and out to the count of three. It’s hard to think when you’re counting.
- After about a minute of counting my breaths, my mind is clear.
- I then sit and try to keep my mind empty. I don’t try to force it. Thoughts come into my mind. I recognize them as just thoughts passing through. I don’t hold on to them. If I start to dwell, I go back to breathing and counting.
Mediation allows you to become more mindful of what you are thinking. Once that happens, a mindless habit is broken down into a thought and an action. You become aware of what you are thinking, realize that it’s not beneficial to you, and choose not to act upon it. Tbh, there will be times you decide to act upon it – but it’s a conscious choice.
As you start to break down your habits this way, you are no longer automatically following a neural pathway. The trail begins to fade.
But be aware – the trail may fade but never completely disappears. Without mindfulness, it becomes very easy to slip into your old habits.
So, the TL;DR version:
To break the bad habit loop –
Meditation -> Mindfulness ->New neural pathways (neuroplasticity)
It’s important to note that I have no medical degree, and the only psychology class I took was an Intro one in college.
I am middle-aged, and over the years, I’ve developed a lot of good habits and many bad ones. Right now, I’m trying to eliminate the bad ones to make room for the good ones.
How does that happen?
Coming soon…